Heart ; Mind

I blame myself for not being able to handle my problems. Nothing like this would happen if I were tough and mature enough. No one would be forced to listen to my rants every time. It's awful how I see all my friends attempting to comprehend my situation, even though they know deep down that they, too, are unsure of how to respond in my circumstance. This pain never went away; instead, it became more apparent as each day passed. I was very befuddled by this circumstance. I'm exhausted by the uncertainties that have crept into my thoughts.

Is it the right option to keep my mouth shut and not make a fuss around others? As in, I'm more concerned with attempting to seem more mature than focusing on my own feelings. That's my favorite toxic trait: attempting to be normal despite the fact that I'm a mess on the inside. I'm trying to be patient, regardless of the fact that I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I'm simply good at shutting myself off and letting my troubles consume me. Everyday, a small piece of me dies.

How can you get rid of such thoughts? Despite knowing everything, how do you act as if nothing happened? How can I persuade myself that things will get better? What is the best way to forget things? So many thoughts rushed through my mind.

Once, I said to myself, "Please don't ever get tired of being a good person with a good heart. I know how hard you try to look on the bright side of things and avoid being pessimistic, yet people still treat you badly. It's painful to be taken advantage of and to believe that being cold-hearted is preferable, yet individuals like you matter and are important to the world. " That saying used to motivate me to be good to others, and it seemed reasonable at the time, but now it makes me tired. The process of having faith consumes a significant amount of my time and energy.

Is it true that we need to kill them with kindness?

Or do they genuinely deserve to be in pain? The desire to be wicked is irresistible. It tempts me to treat them badly by how they treat me. I'm not sure how to put this in the kindest possible way. oh yeah screwed them up the way they screwed you up. The desire to see them suffer is strong, but my conscience kicks in and tells me that's not who I am. It will be very out of character for me to do so. 

No matter how hurt I am, the real me will never strive to harm others. My heart has always encouraged me to leave this situation in Allah's hands. Allow Allah to punish them for their wrongdoings. Nothing needs to be done; simply sit back and trust that everything will turn out the way your heart desires or even better than you ever imagined one day.